The Balanced Life II
there seem to be rhythms to life. these might best be described as ebbs and flows of life. there clearly are seasons when our jobs or ministries demand more of our time and energy and times when things seem to just click along. there are times when our families make relatively few demands of us and times when we must focus almost solely on them. i have come to the realization that our lives are not necessarily meant to be balanced so much as they should be lived in obedience to god and in the season he has placed us in.
right now, my life seems as out of balance as i have ever felt. i am finding this feeling very difficult to deal with. i like to have a plan for what i am doing and where i am going. right now there doesn’t seem to be one. i am convinced that god is leading me to work in ministry as a vocation. i do not have any strong sense of what that will look like. that feeling of uncertainty is troubling. i would love to serve in my current church home. i do not know if that is what god has for me, or if that is within the capacity of the church. i am not even sure they would want me. i have some good ideas – at least i think they are good – but i don’t know if they would work where we are located (or anywhere, for that matter).
i am a student. i am enrolled in college and taking a pretty heavy load, especially considering i am back in college to complete my degree after about fifteen years away. this takes a lot of time. probably too much. i have a part-time associate pastor position in my church. i probably work more than i should (for a part-time position). i say my priority is my wife then children. they might argue with that. i think i am in a season of hard work right now. i am waiting on my season of rest and rebuilding. i feel really out of balance. but i am not called to be balanced. i am called to be obedient. i am called by god to complete my education and work in a church setting. i am called by god to care for my family. i am going to screw up parts of it. when i do, i repent to the ones affected and get back at it and try not to screw up the same thing again (although i likely will).
during all my time of uncertainty, i can rely on one fact. god is good all the time; and all the time, god is good. when i feel out of balance, i can know that god always rights the scales.