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Love: A Godly Husband’s Responsibility

June 23, 2009



Last week, I wrote about the Christian husband’s responsibility to be a leader. I really believe that all of the husband’s responsibilities can be distilled down to just two: lead and love.

This love is different than the infatuation that we feel early in a relationship. This love is not just felt, it is intentional. It is a choice that we make. Here are some related passages of scripture followed by ten rules for Christian husbands.

Ephesians 5:21-33 (New Living Translation)

21 And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

22 For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23 For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. 24 As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything.

25 For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her 26 to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word. 27 He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. 28 In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. 29 No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church. 30 And we are members of his body.

31 As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” 32 This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one. 33 So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

1 Corinthians 11:3 (New Living Translation)

But there is one thing I want you to know: The head of every man is Christ, the head of woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.

1 Peter 3:1-2, 7 (New Living Translation)

1 In the same way, you wives must accept the authority of your husbands. Then, even if some refuse to obey the Good News, your godly lives will speak to them without any words. They will be won over 2 by observing your pure and reverent lives.

7 In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered.

Ten Rules for Christian Husbands

1. The love you feel for your wife should be “agape” love: a divinely inspired love that reflects God’s unconditional love for her.

2. Caring for your wife requires daily attention.

3. You can give without loving, but you cannot love without giving.

4. You should encourage your wife’s spiritual growth as she seeks to follow Christ, but you can’t dead her there if you’re unwilling to go yourself.

5. You must strive to love your wife as God loves you. That means that you must love her regardless of her response.

6. It’s important that you provide for your wife and family, but giving material possessions is not enough; you must also give yourself to her.

7. You are to love your wife as you love yourself.

8. Take care of her needs, like you take care of your own. Ensure that your wife’s needs for rest and recreation, spiritual growth, and clothing are met.

9. As a Christian husband, your purpose is to prepare her in order to present her to her eternal Groom, the Lord Jesus Christ.

10. Remember that love is a permanent commitment, not a transitory feeling.

Is there one or two of these that you struggle with? Which ones? Make an intentional effort to work on those this week.

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